A commitment is a pledge or a promise. The moment a commitment is made energy seems to shoot in the direction of that decision. Intentions are honorable, and expectations are high. So what happens to that commitment over a period of time?
When it comes to commitment, one big one rarely gets the job done. Many people stall as they progress toward the achievement of their goals because they set goals without first committing to carrying out the appropriate action. The goals linger somewhere between creation and completion. They are dreamed about, talked about, and sometimes even bragged about, but very little is done to see them through to completion.
For example, a client named Paul spent time at workshops sharing about how committed he was to his new business venture. Week after week, month after month, he talked about his business goals. A review of his progress showed that his total time doing productive activity amounted to only a couple of days of work, over several weeks. Paul was avoiding many necessary steps because each of these steps had a perceived risk of rejection or failure. His comfort zone included having the goal only as an identity; it did not allow for the actions that were necessary to bring the goal into a reality. It’s like a guy talking to everyone about his upcoming marriage when, in reality, he has only been on a few dates!
False commitments don’t cut it. Don’t get stalled behind a goal that is not happening. We need to paint – or get off the ladder!
The level of commitment that a mother has for her child is a wonderful illustration of real commitment.
In one of my seminars, I give a mother who has a child around seven or eight years old the following scenario: You and your child decide to go out hiking together. You’ve traveled several miles down a deserted trail and a few miles away from any road. There is an accident and your child is injured. It is not a life-threatening injury, but it is obvious that your child cannot make the journey back with you. You have to bring back the appropriate help. After making your child as comfortable as possible, you assure her that you’ll be back as soon as you can with whatever she needs and then you race back to get help.
At this point, I asked the participant what she would do next. For every answer she gave me, I stated a reason why that idea would not work.
The dialogue went something like this:
Mom: I would run back to my car.
Mario: Your car doesn’t start. Now what?
Mom: I would flag down a motorist.
Mario: No car stops for you. Now what are you going to do?
Mom: I would stand in the middle of the road so that the driver has to stop.
Mario: No other cars come. Now what?
Mom: I go to find a phone booth.
Mario: The receiver of the phone has been ripped out of the booth. What do you do next?
After several of these responses, I asked the mother at what point will she say, “Forget it! I’ve tried my best and I give up!” She emphatically said, “Never!”
I then asked the mother what the chances are that she will finally bring the needed assistance to her child. She confidently said, “100 percent!” Now that is commitment!
With commitment on our side when we encounter problems and setbacks, we are constantly looking for a way to solve any problem. Without commitment, we look for a way through.
They say a good metaphor that denotes the difference between a contribution and commitment is looking at a breakfast of bacon and eggs. Keep in mind the chicken made a contribution to that breakfast — but the pig made the commitment!
Commit and Recommit
The two most common mistakes we make when dealing with commitment is first, we take the commitment too lightly. Then we lose the personal power that commitment offers. The second most common mistake is not to recommit often enough to sustain momentum and build the circumstances needed to complete the goal.
Nothing takes the wind out of our sails faster than realizing, over a period of time, that we lost the power and enthusiasm needed to achieve the goal we were at one time so excited about. We look for reasons or excuses that enable us to not follow through with our commitment. This is all totally unnecessary. It is perfectly natural to lose focus and attention on a new process or behavior. We just need to know what to do about it when it happens.
The key to commitment is re-commitment. We need to be able to start over often enough to stretch our behavior, awareness, characteristics, and habits. The empowerment system is a system of re-commitment, progress, and continuous momentum toward worthwhile and predetermined personal goals. These commitments may come in the form of isolated accomplishments or progressive positive change in behavior patterns.
A routine cycle of reevaluation and recommitment is the way to do it. The more frequently we reevaluate and recommit, the faster we move along in our growth process. Weekly seems to be the key. Once a week presents a new opportunity to identify progress, address weaknesses and redirect weekly efforts. Concentration levels seem to diminish if we wait any longer to adjust and refocus. Those who evaluate and recommit on a weekly basis, progress much more quickly than those who only evaluate and recommit monthly.